What’s worse, being locked out of your phone or being locked out of someone’s mind?
We’ve all been there, one moment you’re texting a guy and having the best conversation, and then out of nowhere… no response.
What happened? Was it something I said? Did my phone suddenly lose connection in my bedroom? Did he secretly have a girlfriend, and his girlfriend found his messages and now they’re arguing about their relationship that I inadvertently just ruined?
There are so many excuses guys use when they don’t respond: I fell asleep, I thought I responded, my phone died, I didn’t get your message, and so much more.
So, what do you do when this happens? Is there a special texting protocol? Are there different rules based on that person’s relationship to you? For instance, do you wait longer if it’s a new romance, as opposed to a guy you’ve been with for a year?
For a new guy you don’t want to come across as needy and a burden to text. If he really did fall asleep, it’s almost guaranteed that he doesn’t want to wake up to 23 texts and 17 emails. You tell yourself those messages were justified because at least you didn’t call and interrupt him from doing something important… that would just be rude.
I recently had an instance where I was texting this new guy, and suddenly he stopped respond. I asked my friends how long I should wait and many of them told me to just not respond, so I didn’t. He later texted me a week later, yes a whole week, and was like wow I didn’t see you messaged me, and then proceeded to carry on the conversation.
What? That’s not how things work; you don’t get to disappear for days and then come back as if nothing happened. I was already mentally packed up and ready to move on because I was sure he wasn’t into me. Was I right to not respond? Or should I have texted him again.
I’m not trying to be like Kate Hudson and figure out how I can lose a guy in ten days; trust me I already know I can accomplish that task. It’s just difficult deciding whether or not your messages are reminders or a burden. So, it brings up the question… how many messages are too many?
I asked a friend this question and she told me that it’s too many if all the messages on the screen are yours. I find that hard to believe though because when I text I type really long messages, so it doesn’t take long for my messages to fill up the screen; there has to be an easier way to decide whether or not to text.
After pondering over scenarios on what would’ve happened if I did decide to text him, I came to the conclusion that for new people in your life… Two is the safe number. I noticed that I had sent two messages already back-to-back before he ghosted me, so an additional one would have been too much. If you’ve only sent him one message, wait two days and send another message. The reason I suggest waiting two days is so this leaves a window for him to respond the next day on his own. On the second day however, do not text a message like hello? Or did you get my message? Text something different from the conversation you were having, so it appears that him not texting back didn’t affect you.
If he doesn’t respond back then all you can do is wait. That’s what I did and he came back a week later; if he’s interested in you, he’ll check his messages from you sooner or later. We’re just always hopeful it’s sooner, as in right now.
Just don’t be that sad person waiting anxiously by their phone rereading your old texts, and trying to play detective on what went wrong. Most likely nothing went wrong and they got distracted. Life gets hard, and things come up. If it’s nearing toward a week, I’m sorry to say, but it’s time to pack up your heart and move on. There are plenty of guys out there and this doesn’t make him a bad guy; it just makes him bad at communication.