Dating gets complicated, especially in today’s times. There’s a name, an acronym, and an opinion for everything. But one thing that is still left floating is what classifies an ex? It is generally believed that when you break up with a person you decide not to be friends due to previous feelings and not wanting to create tension in future relationships. Well, what about almost exes? The people you talk to, maybe you went on a couple dates, maybe you dated for months but never made it official. So, how important is that official title, and does the absence of the title make the “breakup” any less valid?
I question this dating dilemma as I stare at the moon. The moon brought me peace knowing it would always be there every night. It was the one thing that could be expected when the night got cold and dark, and promised to bring light to the darkness.
I go over and over the same question, is it necessary to have to say goodbye if there is no more romantic attraction? Ultimately I want him to do amazing in life, I want him to live his dream, and I want to support him every step of the way, but I don’t want him to interfere with my relationship that is going to give me my fairy-tale happy ending. I know me and him are just friends, but what happens if and when our future boyfriends find out we used to talk? I wouldn’t be lying by saying we never dated, but is it deceitful to not give the whole truth on the situation?
I used to ask myself this constantly. There was never a label, but I had strong feelings, so was it wrong? I later realized that the feelings I felt for him were mutual respect and support… not romantic love. If it wasn’t romantic love why do I feel like I’m keeping a secret. If I’m not cheating why do I feel guilty for supporting somebody else?
I don’t want a situation like Jimmy and Kirsten in The O.C. where years later Jimmy is still attracted to Kirsten and starts his own family, but moves next door to Kirsten because he’s still in love with her. It sounds romantic in theory, but if I’m happily in a relationship I don’t want my almost or real ex to be living next door to me; that’s too close and suffocating. So, when you move on from an ex… how far do you have to move?
When does it become too much of a risk to keep them around? At one point there was an attraction, so whose to say the attraction in one of the parties won’t strike a spark again? Sure, you want them to succeed and be happy in life, but what if it affects your future happiness and relationship? There are so many maybes in the air , so many what ifs, and what abouts that the answer is crystal clear.
Maybe the moon has the right intention, or maybe humans are more complex than a floating rock in space. The moon is always there because it’s stuck. It’s stuck in an orbit, and it couldn’t move even if it wanted to. The stars on the other hand are different. They don’t revolve around the Earth or moon; they have their own purpose and appear when they want to appear. You know that they’re always in space, but they don’t have to be in visible view for you to know that they’re watching over you. They have the right idea; live your own life and show your love from light years away.
We, like stars, create our own galaxies of all the things around us. The possibility that things weren’t working out and the choice to move on came for a reason. I don’t need to have him around for him to know I love him and wish he lives the life he deserves. I have a piece of his stardust in my galaxy, and he has a piece of mine as well.
Labels are just labels created by the ego of the human mind. Whether the label was a deep romantic lover, an almost was, a summer fling, or simply a friend, they had an impact on you and helped mold your galaxy into what it is presently. So when you try to hold onto something that was never meant to be, ask yourself why. Why are you holding onto something physical when it could be a detrimental issue in the future? Just look up at the sky and whether you see the stars or not you’ll notice the stardust you gained and remember what it is you needed from that encounter.